Scottish comedian Darren Connell has opened up about his alcohol addiction and his ongoing recovery almost 10 years after he took his last drink.
Speaking on the first episode of Listen Up, a new podcast, he said the last time he drank filled him with “complete disgust” and contributed to a “bonfire” of mental health issues.
Best known for playing the role of Bobby Muir in the TV series Scot Squad, Connell fought alcohol addiction throughout his youth as he embarked upon a career as a stand up.
He told the podcast he performed his first ever gig extremely drunk, and that a promoter once made him feel like a “circus animal” by plying him with alcohol before he went on stage.
Listen Up is a recovery-themed podcast produced by Abbeycare, one of Scotland’s leading residential rehab centres for people with drug and alcohol issues with a unit in Erskine.
Hosted by outreach manager Eddie Clarke, the show will feature a new guest each month who will be invited to talk about their first-hand experience of addiction and recovery.
It aims to reduce the stigma around drug and alcohol addiction through honest conversations, as well as demonstrating that recovery is possible.
During his appearance on the show, Connell said he is now more than nine years sober, having had his last drink in the run up to Christmas on December 17, 2015.
He recalled how during his heavy drinking days, he would go to pubs by himself after his own stand up shows, having six or seven drinks without them “even touching the sides”.
He said: “I remember my last drink. I just drank myself to complete disgust. I was so disgusted and so ashamed of myself, and I do remember having this physical feeling of like ‘I know that I’m never going to drink again, but it’s going to be hard trying to get help’.”
He initially struggled with his recovery and was on antidepressants during his first year of sobriety. He also found Alcoholics Anonymous meetings difficult.
“I think a lot of it was the absolute shame and bitterness of being unable to say that I was an alcoholic. So I think I went in there really angry,” he said.
“I remember once at a meeting, I thought, ‘Why should I be so ashamed about saying this?’ It’s only about me and my own problems that I’m creating.
“And when I actually said that I’m an alcoholic, I felt a pure weight come off my shoulders, and I just embraced it.
“I started to notice changes with my family, like my mum saying things like, ‘Keep it up, we’re dead proud of you’. And I thought, my life is actually changing.”
Asked what advice he would give others going through the same thing, he said: “I would say don’t be ashamed in asking for help. Go to your doctor and ask for help.
“Get it done by a professional. Don’t get it done by somebody that’s screaming about sea moss on the top of a hill in a TikTok video. Go down the professional route and figure it out for yourself.”
Eddie Clarke, outreach manager of the Abbeycare Group and the host of Listen Up, said: “We’re incredibly grateful to Darren for being our first guest, and for being so honest and open about his struggles with alcohol and his recovery journey so far.
“It was amazing to hear about the positive things that have happened in his life since he gave up drinking, even though it was initially a hugely difficult thing to do.
“Given the levels of alcohol and drug-related harm in Scotland, it’s more important than ever that we talk honestly about addiction, and that is what our podcast will do.
“We hope that people who might be struggling alone will listen and take heart from other people’s stories and insights over the coming months.”